The Big Brexit

There are some decisions in life everyone is happy with. And then there are others.

Brexit, as the UK’s Great Departure from the EU is being called, falls into the latter category. Now I’m fully seized of the importance of having taken back my country and I would hate to be pessimistic. But however there are always spoil sports who ruin the party.

Here’s a list of the unhappy bunch:

1. The pound has certainly taken to the spirit of taking the country back – in fact it’s already back to the level of 1985 so that’s going well I suppose. Only there are a whole host of people who are unhappy. The pensioners in Spain for example simply hate it. So do the imported workers from the commonwealth who repatriate their incomes back home. When you see the pound to rupee has fallen from 105 for one pound to 92 you can see why they’ve drained the bitter cup. Take away the cut those thieving money transfer guys will pocket, in effect their income falls to Rs 87. Add to that expenses of living here, they might as well go back home. These are the same workers from the commonwealth we are hoping to attract in case of shortage of skilled workers.

2. All the political parties are sick as mud. At the moment the Liberal Democrats and the Green Party have revealed themselves to be the the most sane and viable option to form government. A short précis of the other parties’ activities, post Operatoon Soverignity:

  •  As soon as the vote was announced, Cameron promptly resigned and scooted off. A man like him knows a bucket of manure when he sees one and I suppose he doesn’t feel any need to pour it over his own head. So the conservatives are having a leadership contest which so far has been an amazing saga of Ceaser-and-Brute variety with everyone slagging each other off and sticking knives into each other.
  • The Labour Party, you would imagine, then at once sprung into action started reaching out to people and working towards the next election? No such thing. They decided now is as good a time as any to challenge their own party leader – who was elected by a thumping majority by Labour’s membership. To add to this tragi-comedy no one is ready to run an leadership election against Corbyn  because they know  he will get re-elected. The shadow cabinet resigned one by one, in such quick succession that Jeremy Corbyn will now have to fill the shadow cabinet with himself. Is it any wonder no one votes Labour any more?
  • Nigel Farage has submitted his yearly resignation. So now the UKIP is leaderless as well as rudderless. For a party whose entire raison de être was Brexit – now that, to their utter shock, it’s happened I’m not sure why they’re hanging around.


3. Boris Johnson is unhappy. Right after the referendum and it’s infernal result his pale ashen complexion was the talk of the town. He hadn’t seen that coming. Then as Cameron outsmarted him by resigning, he appeared chilled to the bone at the thought that he might have to hold the baby and become PM. Even here Boris’ luck held. His dear thick friend Gove spectacularly sabotaged this, much to Boris’ relief I imagine. He held a theatrical press conference – Look How I’ve Been Wronged writ large on his hair which seemed like they will never see a comb again. No, so far things have got back on track for Boris. What makes him unhappy now is the prospect that Theresa May might become PM. And he knows if she does, he’s well and truly beaten. A flaky airhead like Leadsom he can easily outmanoeuvre and oust; May is another story.

4. Michael Gove is unhappy because he’s lost the leadership election by a mile… errr but no one actually noticed he was running so that’s fine.

5. The Remain-ers are not happy. They hate this scheme of affairs. And they’re not shy to let everyone know. They are marching through the streets singing ridiculous songs like ‘Never gonna give EU up, never gonna let EU down.’ I mean the song was bad enough in its original.

6.  Lastly, and rather surprisingly, the Brexiter are unhappy too. They are highly suspicious the government will try to somehow Sabotage their Democratic Vote. I wish I could offer them succour and comfort but unfortunately I have to say I agree with their feelings.

I feel we will stay in the single market, maybe some small concessions on migration will be given which they will then have to remain happy with.. Even then it will take years for this to materialise. By then most of the exiteers would’ve forgotten how they voted or why. Politics is after all the art of fudge.

And we, a nation divided by political fudge, can at least unite in our misery.


Comment: The big mystery of the Conservative elections: Did Andrea Leadsom really have an illustrious banking career managing pots of money? A crisis on the same level as ‘what is Chandler Bing’s job’? In both cases, no one seems to have the answer. Indeed she’s gone back on that claim too. It seems the only time she did manage a fund (her brother in law’s, for 3 months) it lost so much money he had to take over himself. Having said that does making pots of money for self equate to leadership qualities? Must mull on that. On the lighter side though Michael Gove thought he could have been prime minister of the country. These leadership contests have their moments. We might be temporarily mad, but haven’t totally divorced ourselves from good sense.

On the Labour side, I’m not quite sure what the real objection to Corbyn is. Principally it seems to be he’s not smooth talking and television friendly – in other words, he has been found lacking in the charisma department. I would’ve been more sympathetic if I’d not known the chosen heir is Angela Eagle – who, if possible, has even less charisma than Corbyn.


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